All in God’s Plan
Many, Lord my God, are the wonder you have done,
the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you; were I speak
and tell of your deeds,
they would be too many to declare.
I was raised in a family with one biological sister, five adopted brothers and 1 adopted sister through the foster care system. Brother number 5 and the youngest at the age of 9 is also my nephew. Pretty confusing huh…. And as we have all become adults the story has just become more complicated and diverse.
My background is something I am very proud of. I feel because of it, I am the person I am today; the friend, caregiver, trusted leader, wife and mother. Remember how I have all those siblings that are adopted??? The experiences I gained from my upbringing have proved to be very beneficial to my role as not only a person, but as a mother.
See I learned when I was a child that blood didn’t matter. A family was someone who loved each other unconditionally. It didn’t take blood or DNA to make us a family; It only took love and forgiveness, understanding and acceptance.
I was raised believing that God had a plan for my life and my steps were ordered by him. Did I always stay on that path – unfortunately not. I missed a few steps, took a few falls, and have stumbled most of the way. I even got lost a few times and ended up on the wrong path out of sheer rebellion and stubbornness. But what I have learned is that even during those times I was floundering around, lost in the dark and trying to navigate my way alone…. He was there and He had a plan. It didn’t matter that I was off course- or that I had my own plan.
You see he knew there would be this boy who would need me one day. A boy that by all secular accounts was looked upon “as damaged”- even possibly considered defective and at best had special needs. He would be one of the first to be mainstreamed, a leader of the pack, and a trail blazer for the cause….. A boy with very few communication skills and a whole lot of behavior. A boy whom the “experts” said was basically a lost cause. Who would never speak and would be institutionalized….. A boy who God knew had lots of potential but was locked within himself and alone….. A boy who needed me…..
Yes…. ME!!! The oldest of seven, born in a family where blood didn’t matter, behaviors were intervened and disabilities were accepted. A family where no one was given a free pass and expectations were set high. A family where failures were embraced and success was celebrated. A family that was nontraditional in every sense of the word but didn’t know the difference. A family where love was as abundant as the discipline and God was placed first.
You see God had a plan for me, for my life….. He gave me to the perfect parents, who raised me in the perfect atmosphere and placed me in the perfect place and at the perfect time….. And by perfect I don’t mean the perfect that we always think of…. The perfect where nothing ever goes wrong, the sun always shines, and the Razorbacks always win. Not even the perfect where we don’t make mistakes, we never have zits, or gain a little weight. I mean the perfect that only God could have created and hand designed. The kind of perfect that God hand placed me in situations that would teach me invaluable lessons for which I would need in the future….. The future that placed me in his perfect will doing what he needed and created me to do….
He knew that one day I would fall in love with the man who that very special boy called “DADDY”. And more importantly, the little boy’s daddy would fall in love with me and want to be with me FOREVER…. pretty amazing in itself ….. We celebrated 10 years of marriage in June… Not long compared to many, but considering the statistics of second marriages AND marriages with a child with autism we are beating the odds by YEARS….
God had a plan, he already knew that his little one who needed me, I would need just as badly. You see, this boy has changed me. He has made me see things in a different way…. he has caused me to see the world as he sees it and more importantly how God sees it…. Exactly how it is…. on the inside…. This boy has taught me what unconditional love is all about; a small glimpse into how much God loves us despite how we may fail. Our failure to communicate as often as expected, and our actions when things don’t go our way….. I have discovered the many parallels in my own behavior towards Christ and a child’s behavior with Autism….
I have finally realized how God in his infinite wisdom knew that I would need to experience for myself how he must feel about me. As a born perfectionist I struggle with feeling inadequacy and being “good enough” in God’s eyes. I often feel I am a disappointment to him because of the mistakes I have made or the things I should have done or should NOT have done…. But then I am reminded by my boy God placed specifically in my life that God always has a plan.
That boy as most of you know is the light of my life. He and his sisters have brought me joy I didn’t even know was possible. He wakes me up with a smile (albeit sometimes before dawn) and his words of love end my day…. He has proven that despite what anyone may say, GOD has a plan…. He had a plan for me, he had a plan for Will and he had a plan for you…..
Many of you are aware of God’s great plan in my life…. How he brought our family together in the most unconventional way….. How he has continued to bless our business as we reach out to others. How amazingly well Will is doing behaviorally, communicatively, and in every other way….. How great our girls are. Our girls have distinct personalities which just add to our blessings. Emma keeps me on my times and makes me always strive to be the best I can be. Kate is my joy…. she makes me laugh on even the bleakest of days. Do we still have issues, most definitely, do we still have trials of course we do. But we also have faith because we are certain GOD HAS A PLAN…..
People ask me all the time “how do you do it?” How do you take care of Will, a child with a severe disability everyday AND work with special needs children, most often those on the spectrum. Well here is why…..…..
Because God had a plan.
He purposefully instilled something within me, a love for children, a special connection that can only be explained as a God planned thing.
You see, being Will’s mama is what God planned for my life.
My job…. Its my calling its what God created me for!!!
I’m just humbled that God chose me, Kris chose me and that Will, Emma and Kate choose me…..
I am one lucky girl for sure all because
GOD HAD A PLAN……