Fabio in the making….

Summer is always a busy time for us. It is the busiest time of year for me and my business. But I try to take at least two days off every week to spend with the kids doing something fun! This is one of our “fun” adventures…. Let’s see how fun you think this would have been….


The kids and I, plus Will’s caregiver, get season passes to Wild River Country during the summer. I love going and laying out in the wave pool. The girls enjoying riding the slides, and Will loves being in the wave pool. On this particular day, Taylor had gone with us in order to help me with Will. However, Will wasn’t much interested in riding the slides, apparently he had missed his mama and preferred spending time with me…. So off to the wave pool we go…. Will goes on out to the waves and I lay in the pool and soak up the sun getting my tan on…. (You know because although it can cause cancer, fat looks SOOOO much better dark than it does white…..)

After an hour or so the girls came back by and wanted to ride in the Lazy River so we went with them. Will quickly tired of hanging with his sisters and wanted to return to the wave pool, so back we went. After the waves ceased the first time, Will pointed to the chairs and said “sit” mama. So I told him he could go sit, but that I was going to stay in the water. He reluctantly agreed and had a seat on the lounge chair. I was about 25 ft from the lounge chair sitting in the water. I occasionally would look back to make sure he was still there before closing my eyes again enjoying the sun, the peace, and the whole idea of relaxing….

The next time I turned around to check on him he was still sitting there, hands behind his head, ankles crossed, and enjoying the view. However, this time he was STARK NAKED… Yes, you read this right… Naked……. Completely and totally naked… I was shocked, I was horrified… I was embarrassed… It was like a scene out of a movie. He looked like Fabio….. All he needed was girls on either side of him fanning him with big palm leaves…

Much to my amazement, no one was even acting as though they noticed. There are 50 lounge chairs lined up on either side of him and no one was even paying attention… Women everywhere and no one was looking… For a quick moment I thought, well thank God he isn’t drowning, or he would be dead by now. But my second thought was, Lord thank God no one had noticed… All the women were so engrossed in their books, visiting, or napping, no one noticed.

After all these thoughts had ran through my mind within a ten second span, I immediately looked at Will with my best “mother” look and asked “what are you doing?” Will as plain as day says “resting” mama….. I said, “where are your clothes”… he replies, “HOT Mama!!” As quickly as I can get my “fat butt” out of the water, which isn’t an easy task when you are a laying down in the water flat on your belly.

All the while struggling to get out of the water, I am asking him where his clothes are… He gingerly points down to his clothes which are NEATLY folded beside the lounge chair. Now remember he is an 11 year old boy…. what boy do you know that ever carefully folds his clothes…… Grown men don’t even do that, much less prepubescent boys. But oh no….. He has them neatly folded beside the chair…… Then….. of all times for him to act completely NORMAL….. it is when he is freaking naked…. the one time I wished he was acting autistic, he is acting normal….. Go figure…..

I finally drag my butt out of the water and get to him…… As he sits there acting like we sun bathe in the nude everyday….. and belong to a nudist colony. I grab his clothes and tell him to get them on… He just looks at me and continually says “hot mama”…. as he fans his hands towards his face…. I tell him, I know Will. It IS hot, it is summer and it is hot. But we get in the water when we are hot, we DON‘T take our clothes off….. Now, get your swimsuit on….. He looks at me with that prepubescent look of disgust, like your an idiot but obliges.

He then tells me he wants to go home. I reluctantly agree, afraid that if we didn’t leave he would only take his swim trunks off again. He changes clothes in the restroom and we head out, leaving the girls and the caregiver behind to finish their day at the waterpark.

To be continued….. Yes, much to my dislike, it got worse!!!!

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  1. Brandi,i know u probably werent laughing to much,but that made me laugh. and i really needed a laugh. cant wait to hear the rest.

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