This months journey has become a much different experience than I had prepared myself for. I had prepared myself for the worst; lots of emotions, pain, and suffering in addition to being unable to drive, work or function alone.
I am now past the five-week point, my incisions have done well except for the two times I busted them picking stuff up. (I know, I know… I forgot…) Physically I am making gains everyday. I still get tired easier than before and from what I hear that is to be expected and can last for quite sometime.
Hormonally I am doing pretty good too. I am not taking any hormones at this point and prefer not to. I am still a high risk for cancer so the doctor doesn’t want to feed that unless its necessary. But before everyone thinks I am superwoman; I do take anxiety medicine. So maybe it is keeping me balanced for now. I must admit it has been refreshing to not feel as though I am going to have a nervous breakdown every other day. The severe mood swings have dissipated and the stress has become easier to manage…
Emotionally- I am doing ok. I seem to have seen more pregnant ladies, newborns and infertile story lines everywhere I turn! I must say it has been challenging at best. Keeping my emotions in check, my self-pity stuffed down, and the sheer brokeness hidden has not been easy.
Although painful- I do find hope on knowing that God sees the entire picture. And although weeping may last through the night, JOY cometh in the morning.
So in the meantime; I will love on babies, congratulate those expecting, and sympathize with those who are infertile. While I keep in mind everything happens for a reason.